We all like to think that our men have it down; deciding the appropriate amount of facial hair, finding the right slacks (sans pleats), and how to not use the kind of gel that can hold your hair as well as the wing of a Boeing 787 on.
But if that’s the case, then why is Houston ranked #20 out of #41 of the most “Sartorially-Challenged Metropolises in the Greater United States” by GQ?
Let’s start with the facts. If you are a bachelor, and have any hopes of bringing a girl home to actually stay a full night, lose the fake plant collecting dust in the corner, take down any beach “art” that doesn’t require a frame, and loose the empty liquor bottles you’ve been collecting since college. It’s simple. Your home is your domain, it speaks volumes about who you are as a person. Clean your sinks (and god forbid the counter around it…) of any loose facial hair, purchase a shower curtain that isn’t see-through, and move your shoes from the doorway to your closet. That being said, if you are happy with your home and feel you don’t need to hear this- skip on to the grooming part. Otherwise, ditch IKEA, and hit Z Gallery.
FACIAL HAIR
Now that we understand a few basic guidelines on what is expected of our space if we want to bring a woman home, let’s talk about how to get her there. Bearing in mind that we can’t help what comes out of your mouth at first meet, we can control what is around it. What we hope is happening in that area is a freshly shaved mouth to kiss. What we often get is Chewbacca instead. If you are going to shave, use a shaving cream…A good one. You know the difference. It’s that feeling of when you rub a woman’s leg and she feels more pre-historic crocodile than silk and sexy. It’s the same idea…only we have to kiss that. Try smoothing on a moisturizer post-shave as well, your face won’t feel dry and irritated the next day.
For those of us who don’t shave we have some words for that too. The mustache is not in, and it will never be in. Not even if Jason Sudeikis does it. The modern woman doesn’t want to date Tom Selleck in Magnum, she wants to date Mark Whalburg. Point blank. Unless its mildly scruffy all-over, but still maintained, we don’t want it on your face.
This means NO skinny lines around your jaw, and no soul patch.
MOUTH
While we are in that region, how many guys smoke? A lot right? This one is a no brainer. If you smoke, and don’t plan on quitting in the next 40 years, when you make your next annual trip to the dentist schedule a Zoom whitening session. Most dentists make it wildly affordable these days, and you will enjoy the effect more than you think you will.
Also, it is very wise to keep a travel size mouth wash in your car or at your desk. You will thank us later.
EYEBROWS
Oh, the eyebrows. If you have a uni-brow that’s one thing. But if you wax regularly, chances are they are getting thinner and more defined every time. This isn’t the roaring twenties, and we like a little imperfection in the brows. A good rule of thumb: for every stray hair you find, pluck the one just below. Then step back and reassess. No one wants a number one spot in the show Jersey Shore.
HAIR
There’s so much that can go wrong with this it has a long list of no-no’s all on it’s own. First off, check with your stylist. Chances are he/she can give you a heads up on what works with your hair, face, and style. Any haircut can be modernized with the right product, unless of course you placed a bowl over your head and used kitchen scissors.
If you become bored with your hair, try this very classic, and versatile cut that is easy to manage and even easier to maintain. Sleek on the sides and parted on the top, this is a very modern look for men. Don’t get us wrong, we love a little messy hair in our lives. That’s why we love this cut. Wearable in both a conservative and unkempt fashion, it is a desirable alternative to the “short on the sides, textured on the top” look.
Amazing perks to this cut; longer time in between visits (4-7 weeks), a hairline that won’t need trimming every week, and with a little pomade in the morning this style will evolve from a clean and tidy work day, to a relaxed and ready happy hour.
Check out some of the styles to try in our past blogs:
The Man We’ve Not Forgotten: Alexander Skarsgard
The Modern Man Knows: Inspirational Looks


































